Rachel ;D

parkingstrange:

allteensrelate:

kernalmustache:

pastabutter:

pastabutter:

i blog like i have a penis more than most persons equipped with a penis

This is the one I get notes on?

Allteensrelate reblogged it from me :/

That we did! We love reblogging from our amazing followers!♥

More like attacking small bloggers by shooting their text posts into stardom I see you

(via jocephalopod)

Notes
1440
Posted
1 minute ago

rip-homegirl:

let’s talk about the universe and make out

Mm baby.

(via jocephalopod)

Notes
313630
Posted
3 minutes ago

sextpert:

you know when you really want to kiss someone and you can’t help but keep looking at their lips like those should be on mine

Hhjhh..

(Source: sextpert-deactivated20140114, via jocephalopod)

Notes
132221
Posted
10 minutes ago

booglemoth:

vissible-cracks:

zachsgay:

i need to be like 12x hotter than i am now

0x12=0

image

(via jocephalopod)

Notes
930871
Posted
3 hours ago

tungstens:

we all have a favorite eyebrow

I’m laughing at how insanely accurate this is

(Source: fzur, via ruemorge)

Notes
404168
Posted
3 hours ago
professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

image

(via cystoscope)

Notes
64271
Posted
16 hours ago

pinkisthenewscarlet:

i-spooky-like-fedex:

skellagirl:

parallelsea:

October

OCTOber

it’s the 8th month

I cracked the code

October is the 10th month though

It was originally the 8th month but then Julius fucking Caesar decided to add in July and August after himself and his nephew Augustus

we should totally just stab caesar

(Source: parallelseaarchive, via cystoscope)

Notes
747757
Posted
17 hours ago

penishole:

tobeymacguire:

when straight guys ask how lesbian sex works i feel really bad for their girlfriends because if you dont understand how to have sex with a girl in any way other than repeatedly putting your dick in her you are having some really bad sex

i want to reblog this 100 times but i’ll just do it once

(via cystoscope)

Notes
535373
Posted
17 hours ago

belle-addams:

furything:

can you believe that there are legal nipples and illegal nipples

That’s it, that’s actually it.

(via smokee78)

Notes
180013
Posted
17 hours ago

lambhoof:

i have a special folder for photos of small dogs snoozing on large sleeping places

(via ruemorge)

Notes
75482
Posted
17 hours ago
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